P.S:: This following Blog is not for those who had a very nice Diwali and also not for those who don’t love festivals.
Ever celebrated Diwali alone???
Ever had your dinner alone on a festival??
Well that’s just to summarize what this Diwali brought for me.
Not so long ago, when I used to write those long essays on DIWALI, I felt some lines really funny n wondered how that could ever be possible in real material life. Some of those I quote below
“Is din hum sab apne sabhi dosto (friends) se milte hai aur sham ko sb ek saath milkr lakshmi poojan (Prayers) krte hai. Is parv ko hum bahut harsh aur ulaas k saath mnaate hai.”
Till my last Diwali (2010), I always had my dear ones, Parents and friends close to me and thus never gave importance to these lines. But now, when this Diwali (2011) was on the shore, i started realising the value of parents and friends. You can never imagine how much it hurts to be celebrating any moment when they aren’t with you. Actually, instead of ‘celebrating’, the word that I should have used in my previous line is ‘pretend to celebrate’ as celebrations means happiness and how could you be happy without those dear ones.
This time I was not excited for Diwali like i used to be earlier but still, I love festivals (Holi and Diwali being favourites). I like to celebrate them in my best possible way. I started the day with watching the first day opening show of RA.ONE (Big SRK n BEBO fan). The movie was nice. We had our breakfast n came back to our flat. After cleaning up the mess from my room, I started getting ready for visiting friends. Byom (colleague) arrived n then me, Goverdhan n Byom (BUM .. i like to call him :P) went out for lunch. After having our meals, we set out for Vashi malls. Two more friend, Bikash and Happy joined us there. After roaming in the malls for some hours, we decided that we should return.
Just when everything was going right (if not perfect), DEAR GOD had already something else in that big brown kitty for me.
Goverdhan along with Happy decides that he has to visit a friend. Opposing his idea, I argued that we have to get back home as its a tradition to offer Lakshmi Pooja in the evening and also light some candles there.
Goverdhan: Arey jaldi laut aayengey yaar
Me: bhai, we can’t return before 11 P.M atleast n that won’t be a right time to do the Pooja
G: yaar, tension na le pahunch jaayengey.....hum kounsa jyada der bethnge
A: Goldy, aaj bahut traffic hai...even if hurry up still it will get us beyond 11 or midnight.
G: Acha toh fir u go home n do the Pooja, I’ll be back soon.
A: Yaar, you want me to celebrate Diwali alone??....Fine...ok with it.
With the most frustrated mood ever, I started returning. Now I could very easily feel that my eyes were getting wet. I called up my parents n pretended like i was very happy. But parents just know everything about you. They figured out everything in no time. This made me feel more guilty as i ruined their Diwali along with mine.
After celebrating Dusherra all alone, Diwali was also no exception. I guess this is just the GOD’s way to punish me for whatever I wished for in my life. I always wished to get a job far from my home n parents. But now, i have started asking myself that if it was really what i wished for?
A Lakshmi Pooja where i was sitting alone n reciting aarti from my Laptop (lol i figured out that i never learned it, always used to copy mom on that) and also lighted up some candles.
A broken heart (yeah my girl friend wont’ trust me) & a loner (yeah i miss those bitches Ishan, Manik, Milan & Rahil) is all that I feel myself to be at the end f this all.
Please GOD clear this fog in my head n show me what I truly wish for.
